There was nothing on the scan but an empty gestational sac and a yolk sac.
Both sacs had increased in size since last week, which explains why I’ve actually finally had some nausea this week. The gestational sac can continue to grow & raise hCG levels and therefore cause pregnancy symptoms (because sometimes Mother Nature can be so very cruel).
Please note: I discuss miscarriage in this post which may be a raw topic for some.
Our doctor was amazingly kind to us. He took the time to explain the situation in full as well as our options. He was extremely thorough in his explanations. I could tell that this was a part of his job that never got any easier. I held in the tears until we made it to the lifts but even with our brave faces on, it was obvious we were broken.
The doc immediately offered to refer us for a second opinion to further confirm, although he stated he was 100% sure that this was not a “progressive pregnancy”. Scott and I decided not to prolong the painful process.
I’m now to stop all my medication. Then I either have the option to wait it out and miscarry naturally or the option to have the sac removed surgically via a D&C procedure. He performs these procedures on Wednesdays & Fridays, so we could do it tomorrow if we chose to.
I don’t know whether I’m ready for a D&C tomorrow, but with every delay in becoming parents there is only more hurt and frustration, it makes me feel a bit frantic. I also don’t know whether I can handle waiting for such a traumatic event to come and then continue for weeks on end.
He explained that a natural miscarriage may not start for weeks, some don’t even start until the 12 week mark. As I said, Mother Nature can be heartless. Alternatively it may start in a few days but not end for weeks. I should have been 7.5 weeks today and it was still one week behind in growth. Anything prior to 10 weeks does have less complications for a natural miscarriage.
As with any surgery there are risks involved. Unfortunately some of the complications have the potential to decrease your fertility further. Possible complications with D&C are as follows:
- Complications related to anesthesia
- Injury to the cervix
- Scarring of endometrium
- Infection of the uterus or fallopian tubes
- Uterine perforation (hole in the uterus)
- Damage to other organs in the abdomen
- Need for additional surgery
- Possible need to remove the uterus ( hysterectomy)
Pros to the D&C are that it may be less distressing for some to not see the sac, and there may also be significantly less bleeding. Also, it can be sent for genetic testing to confirm the reason it stopped developing (I guess for further closure).
The doc said there was no need to be hasty in making any decision. He told us to take our time to decide and call him whenever we have anything we need to discuss. He offered to write me a certificate for time off work for as long as I needed.
After the miscarriage we will need to wait one more normal cycle before we can proceed for the next round.
And yes we will be going for round 2. Starting again from scratch. We only had one embryo who really did give all it had. It was a tough little embryo that survived long enough to tell us that I am capable of getting pregnant. For that knowledge we are so very grateful.
A month ago, when we had the embryo transferred Scott was brainstorming nicknames, he said “I know look up Million Dollar Baby (the film), she had a nickname” this was Scott’s daggy sense of humour because this baby had cost us a lot of money and also because it was a fighter (it had finally gotten to blastocyst stage 1 day late when we thought it wasn’t going to make it). I wasn’t sure about his suggestion (nor his dodgy sense of humour) but when I googled it and found “Mo Chuisle” an Irish phrase meaning “my pulse, my darling” it seemed appropriate in more ways than one. So we had named our only embryo Mo.
If you are reading this and have had a D&C or natural miscarriage, I could really do with some advice. So if you have any words of wisdom I would love to hear them.
Scott and I want to thank our friends and family for supporting us both through our first IVF/FET. And to the other bloggers out there who have followed my journey so far, thank you so much. Sharing this here has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. Although we have never met, we are no longer defined as strangers. We cannot thank you enough for the kind comments and encouragement.